Sunday, March 13, 2011

Is this Whole Law School Thing Depressing Me?

I've actually been depressed ever since getting my law school acceptance.  I won't say that's the only thing going on in my life.  My business is crapping the bed.  I have one relative who just passed away.  I have another relative who is having some health issues. 

I was hoping my law school acceptance would lift my spirits, and it really hasn't.  In fact, I wonder if, in some way, it's actually bringing me down a little bit.  I never liked being a full-time student.

My best academic performance has always come while taking a few classes and working full-time.  So, going to full-time law school is going to be returning to an environment where I never really thrived.

The funny thing is, the closer I get to starting school, the more I'm sure this is something I need to do.  Also, the less sure I am about whether I'll be able to swing it if things don't improve in my business.  Now is a really bad time to be a small business owner. 

It feels like I'm the captain of the Titanic, and we struck an iceberg in 2008.  Things seemed to go fine for a while, but now it's becoming obvious we don't have enough lifeboats.  This thing feels like it's going down.  If it goes down too fast, I won't be able to swing law school.  I could end up, I dunno, halfway through my 2L year and declaring bankruptcy.  If it goes down slowly, I might be able to use a law career as my lifeboat and escape a watery grave.

There are a lot of wildcards in this whole thing.  I'm going to be able to go to school full-time, but there will be parts of this thing I won't be doing.

For instance, I get my health insurance through my participation in the Navy Reserve.  So, I probably won't be able to do any Summer employment or stuff like that.  I'll probably be using my Summers to fulfill my Navy obligations.

Fortunately for me, my CO has been REALLY supportive of flexible drilling for me, because I'm flying down to Fort Worth at my own expense.  (I wanted a specific type of unit and Fort Worth was pretty much the best location for me to get into that kind of slot.) 

This will test his forebearance a bit, but I will probably try to cram all my drills into the Summer.  That, combined with trying to fulfill my 2 week obligation, will take up most, if not all of my Summer.

Figure during the year, I need to drill 24 days, plus there's usually a Supply Corps conference, and then 2 weeks of what's called "Annual Training".  Right now, our AT locations are places like Papua New Guinea.  I wouldn't mind going, but the timing isn't that flexible.  So, if it doesn't happen in the Summer (and it's likely it won't), then he'd need to be understanding and allow me to do an alternate AT which would probably be something like a training school.

If everything goes perfectly, I'd do pretty much all 24 of my drill days, plus my 2 week AT during the Summer.  That's roughly 38 days of the Summer right there.  (Actually, in April and October, I'll probably fly down just for the weekend because that's when we do our fitness evaluations, but even that's negotiable.  I could do them with the reserve center here in Toledo and have them mail the stuff down there.  I just wouldn't get paid for it.)

Although money has never been my motivation for serving in the Navy Reserve (frankly, a lot of the time, it costs me more to serve than I end up making), if I did all my drills at once, it'd be a considerable chunk of change.

I make O-3 in December.  That means I make over $700 for every 2 day drill.  So, 24 drill days would mean about $8,500 dollars for about a month's work.  (The 2 week annual training is far less lucrative.  You just get 2 weeks of normal pay.  So, maybe 3 grand at the most.  The reason drills are so well-paying is that for every 8 hour period, you get paid 2 days of pay.)

Granted, that's not much compared to the T14 guys who are getting Summer jobs at $10,000 a month, but for me, that's a considerable amount of money.  I'll probably need it, and even if I don't "need" it per se, I can certainly find a use for 8 grand.

It's always possible that the commander would put his foot down and not allow me to do this crazy schedule, and I wouldn't blame him.  Unfortunately for me, that means either resigning my commission or requesting transfer to the IRR (individual ready reserve... you're still technically in the military, but you don't drill or anything.)

I love being in the Navy Reserve.  Getting my commission was one of the accomplishments I most cherish.  There have been a lot of servicemembers in my family, but precious few commissioned officers.  (My grandfather, who just passed away is the first and most accomplished.  Oddly, my cousin, who grew up next door, was a commissioned O-2 in the Air Force while he was completing his studies to become a priest.)

As much as I bitch and whine about the state of things in the U.S., I love this country.  Serving it is an honor and a priviledge. 

If I had to give up the reserves, I'd live, but it's been something I've really enjoyed.  I feel blessed every time I put on the uniform. 

If I got on with a large law firm (problematic, if not impossible at my age), reserves would have to go.  Also, I think it'd be a problem if I opened my own practice, too.  "Your honor, I can't make it to court that day.  I'm going to be on my 2 week Annual Training."

I don't know how understanding judges would be, and I doubt clients would be that thrilled.  Plus, unlike most 0Ls, a personal injury practice is actually my first choice.  That means being available to provide consultations and to try cases when and if they happen.  2 weeks away from practice is two weeks where I potentially give up that six or seven figure case to somebody else.

Anyhooo... I'm also thinking that if I were to qualify for Law Review, that'd be difficult, too.  That's putting the cart before the horse, but hey.

I also did some reading and it appears that LSAT is immaterial for transfer students.  The only reason I am keeping that in the back of my mind is that if I somehow knock it out of the park and end up in the top 2 or 3 in my 1L class, I might stand a shot at transferring to a different school.  From here on out, it will be referred to as "the school that shall not be named".  Given that I've lived 3/4 of my life in Ohio, that should be your first clue.  Given that it's a school noted for academic excellence, we can rule out all the schools in the SEC.

(Okay, that was mean, and unwarranted, and completely out of line for somebody going to a T3 school, but it was also a joke, so work with me, people.)

Of course, that presumes knocking it out of the park.  There are going to be some really smart people in Law School.  I suspect I'll do pretty good, but there's going to be a handful of students there who are operating on a totally different plane and who will, with regularity, kick my ass on everything. 

As a final note, I was sort of hoping that my acceptance letter would be inspiring.  You know, the kind of thing where you pull it out of the mail and read it and tears start rolling down your cheeks because it's the culmination of a lifetime of effort.  You get the idea. 

Instead, it said things like, "This acceptance is conditioned only on your successful completion of the requirements of your undergraduate degree, prior to the first day of law school classes."

Ummm... you have my application packet.  My undergrad degree was completed in 1993.  Are you thinking somehow this is playing it a little too close to the deadline? 

Like somebody read my application packet and thought, "Well, he has to finish his bachelor's degree before the Fall Semester.  Says here, he graduated in '93.  Whoooa, skippy, cutting it a bit close there, aren't we?  One little bump in the road and your procrastination could blow up in your face.  I mean, you're only giving yourself an 18 year cushion, here.  What if things don't work out perfectly.  Where will you be, then?"

This does not speak well for the personalized care and attention that's supposed to be the redeeming quality of some 3T schools.

Anyway, I can't really blame the law school acceptance for my generally crappy mood.  My crappy life is probably the biggest contributor to that.  However, I would have thought I'd be feeling more of a boost right now and I'm just not.

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